i like being complimented on my eyebrows and on my oral sex techniques
Okay I’m not even a Star Trek fan but that’s beautiful.
*holds unlit metaphor* it’s a cigarette
"It grew louder—louder—louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly, and smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God!—no, no! They heard!—they suspected!—they knew!—they were making a mockery of my horror!"
—The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe
i think i accidentally ate some of my grandma’s ashes that were on her bed
MY GRANDMA SMOKES I MEANT CIGARETTE ASHES